TWO MONTHS until our transfer date! The nervous-excitement has officially hit me, last week I dreamt about transfer day on two different nights, one nightmare and one (just) okay dream. In one of the dreams, our fertility clinic had no records of us doing treatment which meant no embryo to transfer and no one would help us because no one spoke English. I woke up sweating and sobbing, it felt so real.
In the second dream, we somehow got pregnant with twins even though we only transferred one embryo. The twins I was pregnant with were not related and the clinic couldn’t tell me how it happened. We had two babies from 4 different donors…. I wonder how many bizarre dreams I’ll have before (and after) transfer day.
Anyone who has underwent any form of extensive fertility treatments knows the term “PUPO.” PUPO means: pregnant until proven otherwise and it is a commonly used term in the infertility world. PUPO is supposed to create a positive mindset around the terrible anxiety of the dreaded 2-week wait to see if you are indeed, pregnant. A lot of women choose to wear some form of good luck clothing on their transfer day, it could be a shirt, socks, undies, leggings, you name it-I’ve seen it all. Usually the clothing has some form of transfer day saying like “Keep Calm It’s Transfer Day” or “Mother of Embryos” or some form of representation for fertility- like a pineapple because it represents welcoming and hospitality. People do all sorts of mood busters to help them on that anxiety filled day.
There is also an entirely different realm of “old wives tales” that will help lead to a positive pregnancy test…
- Eating pineapple core for 5 days after transfer is supposed to help with implantation.
- Eating 5 brazil nuts per day from the start of your period helps with lining and implantation.
- Drinking 4oz of real pomegranate juice a day will boost blood flow and help thicken lining.
- Eating McDonalds fries right after transfer, helps decrease irritation from the transfer.
- Wearing warm socks all day long helps your uterus stay warm for the embryo to implant.
- Wearing socks on transfer day that were gifted to you from someone who wore them on their transfer and had a positive will increase your luck.
- Only take lukewarm baths to avoid “cooking” the embryo or baby.
- Anywhere from 1 day to 1 full week of bedrest after transfer to help implantation.
- And in the other hand, return to regular physical activity right after transfer to help with blood flow to help with implantation.
- No sex ranging from 1-12 weeks to avoid a miscarriage and embryo failure. (What the?)
The list goes on and on, some are likely based on science where others are clearly debatable, sometimes they even oppose each other. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t tried nearly 95% of these. Ha!
Reality is, I’ve read about 40,000 books on increasing fertility and it’s all about nutrient, diet, exercise and lifestyle. The caveat to that is there is a wide variety of opinions based on the authors. I read one book a few years back that raved about the benefits of a vegetarian diet, so what did I do? I turned vegetarian (no meat or fish) for over two god-damn years because I thought it would boost my fertility! In late May 2018, my acupuncturist and fertility specialist suggested that I start eating meat before our next cycle, so I did. This was right after we returned from our 2-week European trip. I had ample opportunity to eat some of the best (meat) cuisine in Italy and France, but I didn’t, because I thought I was helping my fertility. I chose to eat a bratwurst 8-days after we got home because my doctor said to… and it was freakin’ delicious!
We started eating mostly organic and rid our house of all the chemicals/cleaners/skin/makeup products that had phthalates and other crap that was linked to fertility problems. We even started wearing natural deodorant…pee-you. I took up running, which I learned to love, although I don’t do it nearly enough now. I decreased my drinking and stopped regularly smoking cigarettes. That’s right for those of you who didn’t know me then, I was a regular smoker before the first 2014 surprise pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I’m guilty of indulging in too many adult beverages and puffing on the cancer sticks every once in awhile with friends. 😊 (We’re all human, no judging!)
We’ve spent thousands, I mean, thousands, of dollars on acupuncture, massage, chiropractor, vitamins, supplements, books, psychic readings, essential oils, healing stones, guided meditation music. The list keeps going…I mean.. I’ve slept with antique worry dolls and rose quarts stones under my pillow for the last 2 years…All to try and increase our chances of having a baby.
It’s laughable and semi-pathetic all the things that we have tried to get pregnant. In 2-months I’ll be half-naked sitting in a room getting our Czech Republic baby put into my uterus…will any of these things matter? Will this work?
Long story short, people who are going through infertility will try a ridiculous amount of things (and spend a fortune) for something that SO MANY PEOPLE TAKE FOR GRANTED. Pregnancy is easy for some people, and for others- it’s far from. You will never-ever know what this struggle is like unless you’ve personally been through it, please remember that if you are ever tempted to give unsolicited fertility advice to an infertile friend, because they’ve probably already tried it.
(Side note: for those who read my last blog post “Relief,” and wanted to follow up, I have still NOT GOTTEN A RESPONSE! I sent a follow up message last week, and today I sent a message to the main email requesting a different coordinator.)